Your Ultimate Leadership Challenge

You may be surprised to know that you have the opportunity to participate in the ultimate leadership challenge on the planet. It's a chance to make the world a better place, for you and for those you care about. Fulfilling this challenge also makes you a healthier and happier person. Any ideas?

Well, the ultimate leadership challenge is showing up as a leader in your own life.

That's one of the many things I've learned from blogger/musician/entrepreneur/creativity teacher Christine Kane. What Christine teaches about personal leadership totally resonates with what I know about effective communication.

Exceptional leaders and communications share at least one major commonality: they are clear about who they are, what they want, and what they expect from life.

People who regularly show up as the leaders of their own lives usually look something like this:

• They know what they want from their work and their relationships.
• They realize they're not perfect, but since no one is, it's not an issue for them.
• Their sense of self (or self-esteem) is not dependent on approval from others.
• Leaders know that sooner or later they achieve their objectives, sometimes it takes longer than expected.
• What others call failure, leaders know is just part of the process of being successful.
• Their quiet confidence doesn't allow them to get caught up in dramatic interludes, or attempts to convince others to accept their viewpoint.
• Much of their success derives from daily habits that are mostly not exciting.
• When other people don't deliver the expected level of service, authentic leaders express their expectations without getting huffy about it.

Here is a snapshot of someone who is not a leader in her own life:

Ms. Priss shows up at the counter to order her cafe au lait. Somehow the person at the counter doesn't see her, or doesn't acknowledge her. Ms. Priss keeps silent, but her slight disappointment transforms in barely concealed contempt when Mr. Counter Person cheerfully waits on the new customer who just walked in the door.

The reality is that her contempt is not concealed. Mr. Counter Person doesn't know what's wrong with this lady who's obviously waiting for someone else to show up.

Ms. Priss is about to explore from anger and stalks out of the coffee shop. Mr. Counter Person wonders what her problem was, but quickly moves on to more interesting matters.

Ms. Priss failed to express what she wanted. She expected Mr. Counter Person to know that she was there to order a coffee. It never occurred to her that Mr. Counter Person would falsely assume that she was waiting for someone else. Not getting the service she expected, Ms. Priss feels slighted, but refuses to resolve the issue in the most obvious fashion - by opening her mouth and asking for a coffee.

Do the world and yourself a favor, show up a the leader of your life.

Are They Mistakes...Or Blessings in Disguise?

A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

--George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish playwright and critic


Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.

--Babe Ruth (1895–1948) American baseball player

Most people agree that the last Pope, John Paul II, was a remarkable and inspiring man. I always found curious that his first words as pope were, Fear not; be not afraid. It's taken me a while to grasp why he might have said that. Perhaps he was shaking in his boots himself at being elected pope.

The great thing about being a teenager is that at that age, you're fearless....except for panic at the thought of being uncool. As we get older, we realize that a lot of other things can go wrong, and that being uncool is not such a bad thing after all.

It's one thing to be prudent, and another thing to be paralyzed at the idea of taking risk. Sometimes it's hard to discern what's being prudently cautious, and what's being fearful.

There's fear of failure, fear of not being responsible, fear of not being a perfect parent (don't worry, your child turning into a teen will permanently deliver you from that fear by informing you of your immeasurable incompetence.)

The reality is, what you think is a mistake one day, may pay off in the future. Either the mistake turns out to be a stroke of genius, or you learn something so valuable that the mistake becomes your precious teacher.

If you are convinced that mistakes are bad, indications of your being a failure, or incompetent, then you naturally fear making them. If you realize that mistakes always bring you closer to your goals, you experience much less fear. And in both cases, things you do will not always turn out the way you expect, e.g. "mistakes" are inevitable.

One of the themes of the movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, is that a person can appear to be a mistake, but isn't. Like Forrest Gump, Benjamin Button arrives on this earth with physical and/or cognitive disabilities, but actually, both characters become teachers of so-called normal people.

Or consider the case of the "big mistake" of an unwanted pregnancy. A new baby always brings happiness, and the people who get to raise this child receive immeasurable blessing.

So, fear not making a mistake. Just go about your business with full confidence.

Develop Your Brain Today

YELLOW BLUE ORANGE BLACK RED GREEN
PURPLE YELLOW RED ORANGE GREEN ORANGE BLACK BLUE RED PURPLE GREEN BLUE

Look at the words above from left to right, read out the color, but not the words. For example, the first word you say should be green (the color of the word.)

Difficult, isn't it?

This is caused by left-right brain conflict. The brain is divided into 2 sides. They control different modes of thinking. The right side of the brain is more intuitive, holistic, and synthesizing so it is more responsible for perceiving, colors, graphics, etc.

The left side of the brain is more logical, sequential, and analitical. It is more responsible for perceiving words and meanings. When you are reading the words, the right side of the brain tries to say the color, however, your left side of the brain insists on reading the words. This conflict causes the confusion in perception.

From Illusion Science.

To Be Or Not To Be...Really Really Effective

What we know about really effective people is that they think.
--Jim Collins, Stanford researcher and author of Good to Great.

Sometimes you feel really effective, and sometimes you don't. Usually we get so caught up in the maelstrom of our daily lives that we don't even take time to think about being effective or not. It's something that comes when we question our effectiveness after an outstanding success, or big disappointment.

I know Mixonian readers want to be effective leaders, at home, in the community, and at work. We are constantly looking for ways to find better ways of getting closer to our goals and intentions.

One suggestion from Jim C0llins is that for every item you write on your "to do" list, you write something else on your "not to do list." Look for things that either can be omitted or done by someone else.

You may know that many success expert recommend forming mastermind groups to serve as your personal advisers. On Pam Sim's blog there's a fascinating post about getting together a personal advisory board, which Jim Collins also advocates.

The idea is to get 7 people whom you admire to agree to serve on your personal advisory board. They don't even have to meet in person, although that would be incredible, but they are people whom you can call to ask advice or get feedback at critical moments.

You can make a list of prospects, send out a personal letter to each one (there's a sample letter on the Cubicle Nation blog).

Many of us are so "independent" (read too proud or too shy) to ask for help. But not only can other people lend you a helpful perspective, others know people who can help you.

Draw a picture of a table with seven places for names around it. As people agree to help you, you can write down their names, and contact information. Of course you may be asked to do the same for someone else.

Watch your mail....you may be asked to join the Mixonian Personal Board of Advisers.

Meaningful Trends for 2009

It's a fascinating time to do business and other projects. Entrepreneurs and other smart people are making predictions about what's sort-a going to happen this year. Here are some that make a lot of sense:

- Upscale or downscale. It's a paradox, but people are either going for the cheapest of the cheap, or the best of the best. Low-end or high-end, but not in-between. This reminds me of advice from my mother about furnishing a house. She said either to get the cheapest piece you can stand (thinking it's temporary), or the best you can possibly afford (thinking long term.)

I think the real growth is providing an opportunity to experience high-end, but for a low overall price. This would include facials, manicures, specialty coffees and chocolates.

Business coach John Assaraf is specifically predicting, among other things, growth in the nail care/day spa industry.

- Buying on the Internet, rather in the store. Ho hum. Didn't we already know that? High prices of gasoline induced more people to shop online, and even though the price of gasoline dropped, the online habit remains.

- Higher unemployment means more entrepreneurship.

- Higher unemployment means more investment in adult education.

- Everyone is expecting the stock market to improve. There's no reason why it shouldn't.

- Products involving recycling and using less water are on the upswing. Again, no surprise here.

- The health care industry continues to grow. Our aging population needs more health care services and products.

There are opportunities all around. Make room for them by clearing out tired and unnecessarily complicated things in your life.

Finding the Right Opportunities in 2009

Do you see the forest or the trees?

When the opportunity came, it appeared in a different form, and from a different direction than Barnes had expected. That is one of the tricks of opportunity. It has a sly habit of slipping in by the back door, and often comes disguised in the form of misfortune or temporary defeat. Perhaps this is why so many fail to recognize opportunity.

This excerpt is revised and updated version of Napoleon Hill's classic book, Think and Grow Rich. He tells the story about a man, Mr. Barnes, who wanted very much to work with Thomas Edison, and the process through which that desire manifest itself. Barnes had to start with a menial job in Edison's company. It was much later that his opportunity showed up in the form of a business development that everyone else in the office pooh-poohed. The "doomed-for-failure" innovation was the first dictating machine that ending up making a pot of money for both Edison and Barnes.

So, the question revolves around how exactly to recognize an opportunity that is coming in a different form, and from a different direction that what one is expecting. And if it's something unexpected, how can it be recognized?

The reality is, you don't always know exactly which of the multiple options vying for your attention, energy, and other resources is the right one to take to achieve your goal.

What is certain, however, is that inaction and lack of follow-through takes you nowhere.

If you realize that what we often call failure, is simply part of the achievement process, then you understand the importance of moving in the direction that seems to be the right one. Take action now, and the further along you go, the more clarity you gain about what works and what doesn't.

Are You Ready to Make a Difference?

The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for opportunity when it comes.
--Benjamin Disraeli (1804–1881) British prime minister and novelist

I don't think high achievers necessarily know all the steps they need to take to achieve their goals. I read an account of Amazon's founder Jeff Bezos, who years ago worked on a project to decide which product would best sell online. The model he drew his initial conclusions from, was the retail catalog industry. If you're old enough to remember what it was like to get a dozen lovely catalogues in the mail, you may have trouble recalling any book catalogues, unless it was a special book niche, like for homeschoolers. Nevertheless, he built an incredibly successful online company without knowing in advance that Amazon would transform the retail book industry.

One of my lessons for 2008 was precisely this: you can drive from Atlanta to New York without seeing the whole road. You can even get their in fog and darkness, seeing only a few hundred yards in front of you at a time.

Now one could argue that one does have a map to guide you on the road trip, while the maps for success in life are not so clear. How many times have we wished for the divine to send us a detailed blueprint of what we're supposed to do in our lives?

The truth is, the blueprint may be there, but you haven't taken time to take a close look at it. The reality of a lifetime of achievement, is that the map exists for who you are, not for what you do. Actions are vitally important, but they follow from the person you are.

As you are well aware, Mixonian loves to assign homework, so here's your task for today: Think about the kind of person you want to be. You are mostly there already, but everyone has areas they wish to polish, that's essentially our lifework. If you're not sure what kind of person you want to be, consider what kind of person achieves the goals that you would like to achieve.

For example, what kind of person has her own creative service business? What kind of person earns enough income to be present with his family? What kind of person enjoys a debt-free peace of mind? What kind of person is fit?

I think it was Aristotle who said something like (how's that for specific?): The thought determines the action, the action determines the habit, the habit determines the destiny.

Be yourself of course, but be your best self. Then, not only will you be ready for an opportunity, you'll be able to recognize that golden chance to make an impact.