The Benefits of Crazy-Busy

Have you noticed the new lingo - crazy busy?

Like, "I meant to call you yesterday but things just got crazy busy at the office." Or, "I had planned to do pilates class, but things just got crazy busy."

Crazy busy can be a lot of fun. Kinda like riding a roller coaster. You lose a level of consciousness in your effort to get everything done that needs to be done in the time allotted. It's a rush and you feel fully engaged.

Truly, it is impossible to completely avoid crazy busy, especially if you have young children.

Crazy busy is also an excellent way to lose yourself.

Crazy busy allows you to forget what's really important to you. You lose track of your real preferences. You get so used to getting the job done, you can't remember why you're there in the first place.

If you're spending a lot of time in crazy busy, you might want to take a dose of the antidote: deliberate time to do nothing. Minimum dosage 15 minutes. If you've got an important presentation coming up, you definitely want to take some time off. Meaning out-to-lunch.

Crazy busy is fine in small doses, but can be addicting and harmful to your health.

The Difference between Fear and an Intuitive Warning

You are really going to appreciate this message. I was so excited to finally find real insight into a question that's been bothering me for YEARS. That is, knowing the difference between fear of doing something, and a warning from your intuition that says "don't go there or you'll be sorry."

You know your intuition is reliable. But fears sometimes muddy the message. Because of this confusion, sometimes we don't follow our intuition when we should, and go on and do something that doesn't work out, or regret not doing something. Fortunately, you can always turn your ship around.

Lynn Robinson has an interesting job. She's an intuition coach. One of her many books out is called, Trust Your Gut, and I found it insightful and interesting. But, best of all, she addresses directly the fear vs. intuition question.

Here is a summary of what she wrote, together with my take on this. First of all, Robinson writes that it really can be difficult to know the one from the other.

1. Some anxiety is normal -- especially any time you're making a big decision or change in your life. So, some fear can be normal, but if you're feeling panic, back off.

2. Take baby steps. Starting off with small moves can clarify your direction. Robinson suggests taking a class, speaking with a colleague, or reading a book related to your situation.

3. Consider the timing. If the decision feels like a "definitely maybe," perhaps a delay is what you need. I really liked this from her, When I push the envelope and try to force things to happen, I find I've stepped out of the flow and ease that usually characterize intuitively inspired decisions and action (158).

4. Revisit your goal. Think about what you really want to gain from this situation; maybe there's an alternative route to the desired outcome. Rushing things without feeling inspired is probably not the way you want to go.

5. Review your options. When it comes down to it, there are limited ways to continue. Go over this list and see which option feels best for you.

- quit

- persevere

- alter your course

- put the project on hold for a period of time

- try something new

- ask for advice from someone who has been successful in a similar endeavor

- work on the project part-time

- discuss the situation with others who may be involved

In my work with teaching and coaching, I see clearly how confidence converts into making better decisions. Now you have an additional resource to get you closer to your ideal life.

How Your Fear Perpetuates What You Fear

Say, what?

Fears and anxieties usually affect us in a cyclical ways; that means our fears can cause us to do things that reinforce our fears. It can be tough, but certainly it is possible, to break out of these vicious cycles.

It is so important to realize that our self talk about a situation is far more important than the situation itself. You can purposely use self talk to create a positive perception which in effect shrinks the negative reaction you're used to. This PhD word for this process is “cognitive restructuring.”

For example, many people fear public speaking so much that they avoid certain jobs or even careers that may involve public speaking. This selection turns out to be avoidance of the problem – which does NOT make it go away.

The best way to overcome the fear of public speaking, or any fear in your life, is to confront it. Yikes. That is best to do in baby steps. You could practice making a presentation in front of a group of friends to build your confidence.

To work at a deeper level, I strongly recommend identifying fears that may be lurking under the radar screen of your conscious mind. These fears sabotage you when you avoid facing them. Sometimes, in some of my clients, the hardest part is even admitting that one even has fears.

In my personal case, my fear of poverty caused me to panic when I felt my income threatened, or when business was down. I would then react to this horrible feeling by frantically applying for any job I thought I could get, even though I was ridiculously overqualified for it.

Most of the time I would get rejected, employers are not that stupid and they knew that as soon as my panic ended I would stop working at a place that was so obviously unsuited to my background. That rejection would in turn reinforce my panic. Or conversely, I would accept a low-paying job, feel bad, and fall short of earning the income I was capable of making. Fear of poverty gets even stronger.

It took working with a coach to help me recognize this negative pattern in my life – to see my part in what I used to think was “just the way the world was.” What was most amazing was seeing how the simple awareness of a negative pattern in my life - perpetuated by ME - would begin to dissipate as soon as I saw it.

If you dare to admit it, you may be allowing fear to trip you up unnecessarily.

Look the Part Get the Part

The first thing people notice about you is the way you look. It takes about 30 seconds to make a difficult-to-change first impression. But more important than that, is giving the right message to yourself about the person you really are.

This is not about fashion advice.

This is about looking like the person you want to be.

The routine advice given for job candidates going on an interview is to dress for the job they want, not the job they have. The same is always true.

The most important thing is that you decide how the person you want to be should look.

Here are some tips:

- Be comfortable. Don't wear a completely new outfit on a stressy day.

- Look like you are well aware you're worth spending $ and time on.

- Look like a professional in your industry.

- Avoid distracting your audience.

- Think about wearing a signature item -- for fun and creating a memorable personal brand.

More than just a superficial covering, the way we present ourselves reflects what we think about ourselves. Other people are simply following our own cues about this.

Being Fake in Front of Your Audience

Some people think that to improve their presentation skills, they have to somehow be fake, or inauthentic. For example, a self-defined shy person sees being confident as being fake, because she doesn't feel confident right now.

Let's say you want to improve your tennis game. You sign up for a class, and learn that you're holding your racket too tightly. Your coach tells you to loosen your grip. So, does that make you a fake tennis player when you assume a new grip that feels a bit awkward at first?

I didn't think so.

A lot of my clients complain when I ask them to stand with their feet spread slightly apart, right under their shoulders. They say it feels awkward and fake. Hmmmm.

There are 2 cures for feeling awkward about your new speaking skills. One is watching yourself on video tape. You can see for yourself how things that feel strange, simply because you're not used to them, look much better. The other solution is getting positive feedback from your audience. But that only happens after you implement an improved technique.

Improving your presentation skills is just like improving the skills of any other activity: working with an expert you learn the tricks to get more powerful and confident. It feels odd at first, and then it's second nature.

Sell Your $0.50 Piece of Chocolate for $6.00

You know you don't want to compete on price. That's for losers.

What you want to do is figure out how to add more and more and more value.

Here's a little story of adding value. The girls and I just had a blast shopping for a wedding present for my sister. We bought her a a $0.50 piece of chocolate for $6.00 (among other things.)

How does one go about adding value? Let me tell you how it happened with the non-Godiva chocolate.

1. The venue. Lovely, cool, spacious, did I say "lovely." Good taste in the selling site adds value.

2. The packaging. Lovely, creative, colorful, and fun. Excellent packaging adds value.

3. The creativity. The message on the package is very clever. Unfortunately, I can't tell you what it says because my sister reads this blog and it would totally ruin the surprise. Another example of similar packaging of chocolate: Emergency Chocolate.

4. Free gift wrap. I didn't even get a nasty look when I asked them to wrap a $6.00 purchase. It has the label of the store, a pretty ribbon, and nice cellophane. Gift wrap adds tons of value - saves the buyer time and money.

5. The experience. Shopping at our local boutique, Jefferson's, is an experience. So is shopping at Wal-Mart, but that's not necessarily an enjoyable experience; sometimes it's even traumatic. At boutiques, it's fun to see who else is shopping there. At discount stores, you have to fight the mobs.

6. The brand. That's why brands are so valuable to their owners. But the company who produces this chocolate does not have a recognizable brand. Yet.

The economy is weird right now, I don't deny that. But gobs of money is out there. Go out there and get a piece of it by adding value.

7 Easy Tips for Greater Persuasion

Here they are, short and sweet:

1. Relax by detaching from the outcome. You're there to present your case and you know it's a good one. If they do not wish to accept your premise, that's their problem. If you push, the other is likely to push back against you. Who knows - they might come to their senses later.

2. Cut it short. If you're supposed to speak for 10 minutes, make it 7. Your audience will be forever grateful.

3. Remember the power pause. If you ask the audience a legitimate (not rhetorical) question, wait for them to answer. Get used to handling silence in the conversation.

4. Don't read to your audience, unless it's an incredibly powerful quote. Reading makes people sleepy. If you're on television and have a teleprompter, then that's different.

5. Don't tell your audience how hard you worked to prepare this presentation. Pleeeze.

6. Think of an unexpected prop to make a point. Audiences love surprises and really get when you make a concrete example of something. I once brought a set of hand-made ornately decorated silver measuring spoons to a presentation to show how art elevates the value of even a common kitchen tool. Fortunately my grandmother, who gave me this set of measuring spoons, had left the price tag on -- $21 -- thus adding even greater credibility to my argument.

If you can think of a way to use the prospect's or client's product as a prop, that would be excellent.

7. Keep your mission simple. If it's your first time to meet with these people, they're not likely to sign a multimillion dollar P O today. A legitimate persuasion goal is to get the next appointment, find out the next key person, learn more about the real budget and deadline.

Persuasion. Like a lot of things, when you focus on being yourself and helping your audience, you suddenly become a heck of a lot more persuasive.