Wednesday, October 21, 2009

When Your Good Intentions Backfire

(OK, alright already. I got the muse back to work. Thanks for all the encouragement. I even heard from an ECU student I had 8 years ago!!!)

When you commit to something, a change, a transformation, a project or a relationship, you're making and taking a stand for something. You are no longer sitting on the fence. The marks left by the fence on your derriere will begin (slowly) to fade.

You are excited. You are ready to embrace a bigger version of you. You are ready to shine more brightly than ever before.

Here's the thing.

What one of my mentors has taught me, and what I have found to be true is that as soon as you really really commit to something, what you get is resistance to that change you seek to make. Some people might interpret this as "It's not God's will for me to....lose weight, be financially independent, enjoy better health or freedom from addictions."

The process looks something like this:

If you commit to being punctual, all kinds of things crop up to delay you.

If you commit to saving more money, for sure you're going to get hit with an unexpected expense.

If you commit to an exercise program, you will find yourself more tired than ever before.

And so on. It's so annoying.

It seems that you're really not meant to go there, to do that, to start that new habit or project or business.

It seems like you have only two choices. One is to deny that it's not working out, telling yourself you feel fantastic and victorious, when in fact you feel sad, deflated and defeated. The other is start complaining about how nothing ever works for you, that life is awful and you're an innocent victim.

Well, I'm here to tell you that neither one of these options takes you where you want to go. You can neither deny what you're experiencing, nor give up. There are other options you may not have considered.

Tomorrow I'll publish a list of things you can do when life appears to be conspiring against your wonderful intentions.