The Real Reason Women Don't Have Pay Parity Today

This is not a politically correct message, so if that bothers you, don't read it. If you want to read it, click here.

How to Know if Your Boss Is a Good Leader for You

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Leadership for Bigger Impact

The capacity to develop close and enduring relationships is the mark of a leader. Unfortunately, many leaders of major companies believe their job is to create the strategy, organization structure and organizational processes -- then they just delegate the work to be done, remaining aloof from the people doing the work.

--Bill George, Authentic Leadership.

Here are some questions you can work with to enhance your leadership ability:

• How can I help _________ (insert name of subordinate/prospect/client) be more successful?

• Who are 10 people with whom I'd like to build closer relationships?

• How can I create more "wow" experiences for my people at work?

• What can I do for myself to rekindle my enthusiasm/joy?

• Which tasks and meetings can we eliminate, or have less frequently?

• How can I increase my production of optimism?

Good leadership is a process and a habit. It's something you build every day. Here's some spirit nourishment for the journey.

Redefining Real Leadership

Whether you voted for Obama as president, or someone else, you may have this sneaking suspicion that the guys whom we elected to represent us in Washington really don't know what they're doing.

Bills are passed that no one reads, no one knows who is getting the stimulus, how we're going to pay for it, what has happened to the billions given to the privileged companies, and life goes on.

Employees are laid off, pay checks are docked, and retirement funds look only slightly less anemic than before.

In case you haven't noticed, the traditional leadership paradigm isn't working anymore, if it ever really did.

The new leadership paradigm is this: The people who have the courage to show up in their own lives as leaders, are the ones to follow.

Real leaders are not the elected politicians.

They're not perfect.

They're not ordained.

They don't have the right degrees.

They're not cheerleaders.

They're not licensed by your state to practice leadership.

They're not playing the role of rescuer.

They're not into blame.

They simply show up every day, take responsibility, and keep moving forward. They know what they want, and what they don't want.

Real leaders show up, do what they need to do to move forward and take care of themselves. Try it.

Leadership Dolly Parton Style

You don't have to be blonde, or well-endowed, to integrate this leadership model. In fact, you probably already have.

If you're a country music fan, you most likely know that Parton wrote the "I'll Always Love You" recorded by Whitney Houston for the movie, The Bodyguard. While that song earned her enough money to buy Graceland, it's only one of at least 3,000 songs she's written.

She was the fourth child of twelve, growing up in a one-room house in rural Tennessee. Now she's 63, and is still married to man she met in a laundromat at age 18! (Long-term marriages are fascinating!)

Anyway, Dolly is Dolly, and she's got real insight in her definition of leadership:

If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then you are an excellent leader.

They say country music lyrics reveal all secrets hidden in the human heart.

Whether as a parent, teachers, manager, supervisor, or just as you, you're already an excellent leader. Recognize your achievement. You deserve a raise!

Leadership Paradigms and Potty Training

I was talking to a friend recently who was lamenting another friend's difficulty with getting her child out of diapers. The child was well into his fourth year, and asking his mom to change his diapers. The ultimate customer for pull-ups and extra extra large diapers.

I was wondering why on earth this mother would want to spend so many extra years buying and changing diapers. But that's not my problem; according to her leadership paradigm, changing a toddler's diapers is fine. When and only when the mom decides that she will not change another diaper, the child will learn to use the toilet.

For me, the appropriate age for that change is 2 years old. I went through that with three different children with wildly varying temperaments. I have known moms who potty train their children earlier: their paradigm is different from mine. It's not the potty training technique; it is the mother's decision (or that of the child's primary caretaker.)

It's the same with other goals. You lose weight when you decide that you will no longer put up with a certain level of overweight - the technique or diet is immaterial. It's that inner determination that gets you to pick yourself up every time you fall.

You start improving your finances when you determine that you will either create additional sources of income, increase your savings, or both. It's your decision, not the technique.

It boils down to a question of what you are willing to put up with. If you're lucky enough to have a baby, dirty diapers is part of the picture, but after two years of that, it's your call to end it.

Your Ultimate Leadership Challenge

You may be surprised to know that you have the opportunity to participate in the ultimate leadership challenge on the planet. It's a chance to make the world a better place, for you and for those you care about. Fulfilling this challenge also makes you a healthier and happier person. Any ideas?

Well, the ultimate leadership challenge is showing up as a leader in your own life.

That's one of the many things I've learned from blogger/musician/entrepreneur/creativity teacher Christine Kane. What Christine teaches about personal leadership totally resonates with what I know about effective communication.

Exceptional leaders and communications share at least one major commonality: they are clear about who they are, what they want, and what they expect from life.

People who regularly show up as the leaders of their own lives usually look something like this:

• They know what they want from their work and their relationships.
• They realize they're not perfect, but since no one is, it's not an issue for them.
• Their sense of self (or self-esteem) is not dependent on approval from others.
• Leaders know that sooner or later they achieve their objectives, sometimes it takes longer than expected.
• What others call failure, leaders know is just part of the process of being successful.
• Their quiet confidence doesn't allow them to get caught up in dramatic interludes, or attempts to convince others to accept their viewpoint.
• Much of their success derives from daily habits that are mostly not exciting.
• When other people don't deliver the expected level of service, authentic leaders express their expectations without getting huffy about it.

Here is a snapshot of someone who is not a leader in her own life:

Ms. Priss shows up at the counter to order her cafe au lait. Somehow the person at the counter doesn't see her, or doesn't acknowledge her. Ms. Priss keeps silent, but her slight disappointment transforms in barely concealed contempt when Mr. Counter Person cheerfully waits on the new customer who just walked in the door.

The reality is that her contempt is not concealed. Mr. Counter Person doesn't know what's wrong with this lady who's obviously waiting for someone else to show up.

Ms. Priss is about to explore from anger and stalks out of the coffee shop. Mr. Counter Person wonders what her problem was, but quickly moves on to more interesting matters.

Ms. Priss failed to express what she wanted. She expected Mr. Counter Person to know that she was there to order a coffee. It never occurred to her that Mr. Counter Person would falsely assume that she was waiting for someone else. Not getting the service she expected, Ms. Priss feels slighted, but refuses to resolve the issue in the most obvious fashion - by opening her mouth and asking for a coffee.

Do the world and yourself a favor, show up a the leader of your life.

Caring Leadership for Real People

Dwayne J. Clark is the CEO of a company, Aegis Living, that manages assisted living and other facilities for senior citizens, with annual revenues of around $180 million. He has a fascinating approach to dealing with the relationships between management and front line employees - most of whom earn $11 hour caring for the elderly.

It started with an intention. According to this article about him in the November Inc. magazine, when he started the company with a partner in 1997, he pledged to improve employees' lives. Wow, caring about the people who work for you, that's an idea!

Clark credits inspiration from Oprah's ability connect emotionally to her viewers and bring them help via access to leading experts in different fields. Here are the things his company does to build really a sense of community at his company:

1. He brings speakers like Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, Wayne Dyer, Christopher Gardner and Linda Biehl to management's annual meetings. These meetings are focused on "the human spirit and personal improvement" (49), rather than sales, profitability, and the state of national healthcare. The theme of the 2007 meeting was "Overcoming Extreme Adversity."

Before heading home, managers submit plans to Clark that spell out their strategies to share what they have learned with their staffs.

2. The company negotiates with the suppliers to get them to provide employee benefits. Examples of these benefits include free checking accounts and discounts on groceries. Suppliers also help fund these top speakers at the annual meetings, and in exchange send their own people to attend parts of the meetings.

These practices, stemming from Clark's intention to serve his employees, have lead to a more positive and caring corporate culture that benefits monetarily from a much-lower-than-average turnover rate: 25 to 43 percent, rather than the industry average of 70 percent.

One last point: with all the emotional support and personal development the company offers, sometimes employees get inspired to start their own companies. And they do so with Clark's blessing. In his words, "Then, I have accomplished what I set out to do, getting people to pursue their dreams" (50).

The lesson is profitability is not the opposite of caring for the human spirit of your employees. Happier employees mean happier customers, and if you get enough other things right, higher profits.

What A Great Boss Looks Like

Well....this picture was not taken at work, but Maria Luisa is a fantastic boss. It has nothing to do with her being beautiful or chic. She is an effective leader because she sees her job as making her team successful, and at the same time she is aware of the big picture of the entire organization and how she and the teachers who work under her, fit into that larger organization, which happens to be Merici Academy.

Maria Luisa doesn't tell people what do to. She makes the teachers' objectives clear, and then she asks how she can help them achieve those objectives. She does not worry about doing tasks that do not fit her image as head of the English department. She can provide grammar exercises or tests, help grade papers, or even do substitute teaching, whatever is needed.

She doesn't shy about correcting mistakes or deviations from established norms. She simply states what needs to be fixed, without any accompanying drama.

She is open to new ideas, and will usually encourage those who work under her to try different perspectives and tools. She has a wardrobe full of dress-up clothes for teachers and students alike, that are used for different class dramatizations.

The thing about working under Maria Luisa is that you know she is always on your side. Thank you!