Boost Your Happiness Bank Account

By Marci Shimoff

How can I be happy when my home is losing its value, my 401k is going down, and the price of everything else is going up?

That's a question I hear a lot lately. It seems that as the economy becomes more depressed, so do we.

So what can you do about it? How can you build your happiness bank account amidst tough economic times?

Top happiness researcher Robert Biswas-Diener shared some new insights with me during a recent conversation. While writing Happy for No Reason, I often called upon Robert for his expertise. Known as the "Indiana Jones of positive psychology," his research has taken him to the far corners of the earth -- from the Masai in Africa to seal hunters in Greenland to the poor in Calcutta.

Robert and his father, Ed Diener, one of the preeminent scholars in the field of positive psychology, maintain in their wonderful new book, Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth, that our net worth is comprised of much more than our bank accounts. It includes our psychological wealth, our spiritual connection, our health, and the quality of our social networks.

One surprising finding of Robert's research is that the homeless in Calcutta are happier than the homeless in America, simply because they have stronger networks of social relationships, which help buffer them against the dire effects of poverty. We get more happiness dividends from our relationships than we do from our dollars.

While the value of the dollar may be in flux, the value of your personal relationships and spiritual connection can always gain equity -- if you take the time to nurture them. Robert says the way you spend your discretionary money -- and time -- affects your happiness level.

Here are two things you can do to add equity to your happiness account:

1. Whenever possible, choose experience over material things. Investing $100 to take Tango lessons with your partner will provide more bang for your buck than spending that same money on a new pair of shoes.

2. Spend your money on social activities rather than solitary ones. If you’re going to buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks or splurge for a pedicure, do so with a friend rather than by yourself. Researchers were surprised to find that even introverts are happier when they’re in social situations.

My parents thankfully understood the importance of these concepts. For instance, they have taken our entire family (three generations) on annual vacations together for the last 20 years. I have memories galore of these fantastic holidays -- from watching my parents (in their 80s) play a hilarious game of ping-pong for the first time in 50 years to all of us careening through the jungle on zip lines.

Like the TV commercial says, experiences like these are "priceless"…and they add immeasurable equity to your happiness account.

Marci Shimoff is a celebrated transformational leader and #1 New York Times best-selling author. To learn more of her powerful techniques for establishing deep and authentic happiness and well-being, visit http://www.HappyForNoReason.com/

Helen Keller's Secret to Happiness

by Marci Shimoff

Imagine being deaf, mute, or blind -- or even all three?

Could you be happy? Is it possible?

The brilliant Jean Houston, a renowned philosopher, author, and mystic, shared her insight about this during a lecture I recently attended. One day when Jean was a young girl attending school in New York City, her class went to visit Helen Keller.

After Helen finished giving a moving presentation, she asked the students if they had any questions. As her classmates looked sheepishly at one another, too shy to speak, Jean found herself raising her hand high. Although she had no idea what to say, Jean felt compelled to ask a question of this extraordinary woman who could not speak, talk or see and yet was living such a remarkable life.

Jean walked up to the front of the room, and as Helen’s hand traced Jean’s face to read her lips, she at last blurted a question. "Miss Keller," Jean asked. "Why are you so happy?"

Helen laughed for a long moment and answered, "Because I live each day as though it were my last. And life, in all its moments, is so full of glory."

What great wisdom: The only place happiness can ever be found is in this moment.
Of course, we’ve all heard this before. But stop right now and be present with this. Your life, even with all the pressures or challenges you may have, is rich with sights, sounds, feelings, experiences, and opportunities that when you feel them and savor them create a burst of happiness within.

Learn Helen Keller’s secret.

Helen was a master in the art of living in the here and now. As you go about your routine this week, apply her prescription, from an article that originally appeared in The Atlantic in 1933:

I who am blind can give one hint to those who see -- one admonition to those who would make full use of the gift of sight: Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be stricken blind. And the same method can be applied to the other senses. Hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, the mighty strains of an orchestra, as if you would be stricken deaf tomorrow. Touch each object you want to touch as if tomorrow your tactile sense would fail. Smell the perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel, as if tomorrow you could never smell and taste again. Make the most of every sense; glory in all the facets of pleasure and beauty which the world reveals to you through the several means of contact which Nature provides.

Happiness exists only in this moment. Whatever you’re doing over the next week -- whether spending time with a friend, working late at the office, or waiting in line at the DMV -- engage all of your senses and you’ll find that every single moment is alive with the possibility for joy, connection, and happiness.

Marci Shimoff is a celebrated transformational leader and #1 New York Times best-selling author. To learn more of her powerful techniques for establishing deep and authentic happiness and well-being, visit http://www.HappyForNoReason.com/

Pay Attention!

By Marci Shimoff

Well, the Olympics are over. Now I can finally get to bed before midnight! (I missed that 10 p.m. angel train many times in the past few weeks while glued to those events.)

I was in awe of the athletes—not only because of their extraordinary talent, but also because of their hearts and souls. Clearly what separates the best isn’t only physical prowess, but the mastery of their thoughts and emotions, as well.

I think we can learn a lot from these remarkable people—we can even apply the principles behind their mastery to raising our own level of happiness.

For example, these athletes have an amazing ability to be fully present in the moment. As they performed, I doubt any of them worried about how they looked in a swimsuit or thought about what they’d be having for dinner that evening.

All their attention was fully focused in the NOW!

It reminded me of a fascinating interview I did recently with Dr. Ellen Langer, a psychology professor at Harvard, for my upcoming PBS show on happiness, called Happy for No Reason (which airs in many cities starting September 6—we’ll send the schedule out very soon).

Ellen has done extensive research on mindfulness, the ability to be fully present and attentive to what is happening in the moment. She tells a story about a study with dolphins and their trainers.

Researchers divided the trainers into two groups as they trained their dolphins. They instructed trainers in the “mindless” group to think only about what they already knew about their dolphins, thus making them more focused on the past and less attentive in the moment during the training sessions.

They instructed trainers in the “mindful” group to think about what was new or different about their dolphins that they hadn’t noticed before, as a way to help the trainers stay more present in the moment during training.

The results were fascinating. The dolphins with “mindful” trainers actually swam faster toward their trainers and stayed with them longer than did the dolphins in the “mindless” group of trainers. Mindfulness made the trainers more attractive to their dolphins.

When you practice being more mindfully present in the moment, you, too, will be more engaging and attractive to be around—and you will experience more joy.

For the next few weeks, try this experiment:

Any time you notice yourself drifting into thoughts about the past or future, switch gears. Pretend you are an investigative reporter, and ask yourself what is unique or special about that particular moment. Pay attention to the details of the moment and the sensations you have, and experience appreciation for that moment.

How would your life feel and be different if you were more present and attentive?

Have a dedicated intention to be more conscious, more present, and see where it takes you. Think of this as your training—for the gold medal in happiness!

Marci Shimoff is a celebrated transformational leader
and #1 New York Times best-selling author. To learn
more of her powerful techniques for establishing deep
and authentic happiness and well-being, visit here.

Being Happy Around Negative People

By Marci Shimoff

In my seminars the #1 question I'm asked is:How can I be happy when I deal every day with unhappy and negative people?

Staying happy around negative people is definitely an art. You can probably relate to this scenario: Your day is humming along; you're in the flow, maybe celebrating a personal victory or just appreciating the blessings in your life, when all of a sudden—wham! You cross paths with a perennial complainer or someone who's in a bad mood, and down you go, no longer feeling quite so happy. You may even start to feel resentful, annoyed, or downright upset.

So what's the deal? Why does your wave of positivity seem to crash when it bumps up against a wall of negativity? It boils down to the phenomenon of entrainment or—as I call it in Happy for No Reason—emotional contagion. This law of physics says that when two objects are vibrating near each other, the one vibrating with the greatest intensity will dominate. In relationships this means that the person with the strongest emotional state sets the tone of any interaction.

So the next time you're in a positive, high-flying state and you come across someone who's on a downward spiral, you have an important choice to make: You can either invite the other person to synchronize with your emotional state, or you'll automatically synchronize with theirs. It's certainly easier to make the right choice when you don't know the person well.

It takes a bit more resolve when you deeply care about the person. However, indulging another's negativity only adds fuel to the fire. Misery may love company, but that leaves you both miserable.When you're truly happy for no reason, you have a strong "emotional immune system" that prevents you from catching another's negativity, and your peace and well-being are not affected.

Until then, you may need to boost your immunity. Here's Your Happiness Prescription:

The next time you find yourself dealing with someone who's angry, depressed or otherwise oozing negativity, try this:

1. Keep your emotional balance by tuning in to your body. Deepen your breathing, and notice any sensations that arise within you. This will keep you from a knee-jerk reaction.

2. Point out the positive—gently and without judgment. Most people who are feeling cranky and upset are not deliberately trying to bring others down. Look beyond their behavior and you'll see that they're just trying to find a way to feel some relief. Offer a lighthearted comment—or better yet, a bit of praise or appreciation—and they may see the situation from a new perspective.

When you can't think of anything positive to say, know that simply staying neutral in the face of their negativity is a gift in itself. Remember, emotional entrainment works in both directions. The happier you are within yourself, the more happiness you spread to those around you.

Happily,
Marci Shimoff

Marci Shimoff is a celebrated transformational leader and #1 New York Times best-selling author. To learn more of her powerful techniques for establishing deep and authentic happiness and well-being, visit http://www.happyfornoreason.com/