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Showing posts with label self care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self care. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Dare to Take the Self-Care Test
Taking care of yourself and being responsible for your happiness are key Mixonian themes that resonate with so many readers. A few have asked, how can you assess your own level of self care?
Answer the following questions and then see the incredibly insightful explanation below.
1. Do you feel healthy and energetic, though not necessarily hyperactive?
2. Do you frequently take pain medication?
3. Most of the time, do you feel relaxed about things?
4. Most of the time, do you feel optimistic?
5. Do you feel comfortable with what you do for others, compared to what they do for you?
Question 1: Do you feel healthy and energetic, though not necessarily hyperactive?
If you feel healthy, and fairly energetic, that is good. That is how you should feel. Keep it up. Otherwise, see the explanation below the next question.
Question 2: Do you frequently take pain medication?
If you frequently take pain relief for headaches or other body aches, you may be stressed out. Probably it's a good idea to work on taking better care of yourself, or think about how to be really nice to yourself.
Question 3: Most of the time, do you feel relaxed about things?
If you mostly feel relaxed, you're in good shape. If you're uptight, stressed out, you need to take action. Allow Mixonian to remind you that if you don't take really good care of yourself, it's unlikely that someone else will. Furthermore, the way you treat yourself tells others how to treat you.
Question 4: Most of the time, do you feel optimistic?
Feeling optimistic, most of the time, is the normal and the ideal state. If you are worried about future events or conditions, you have taken responsibility for things that are beyond your control and maybe you should focus more on things more clearly within your circle of influence.
Question 5: Do you feel comfortable with what you do for others, compared to what they do for you?
Not that you're keeping score, this question revolves around feeling appreciated. Mixonian has heard many sad tales of people doing for others, who in turn, do not show appreciation. If your appreciation factor is wobbly, the first thing you need to do is to appreciate yourself. Then take a fresh look at the things you do for others. If these tasks and favors are optional, only do them if you absolutely want to, with no expectation for a payback of gratitude. If you must do the thing, like changing baby's diapers, just do it as one of those things that has to be done. Doing it is the pay-off, consider the consequences of not changing the diapers!
Mixonian wishes all a restful Labor Day Monday.
Answer the following questions and then see the incredibly insightful explanation below.
1. Do you feel healthy and energetic, though not necessarily hyperactive?
2. Do you frequently take pain medication?
3. Most of the time, do you feel relaxed about things?
4. Most of the time, do you feel optimistic?
5. Do you feel comfortable with what you do for others, compared to what they do for you?
Question 1: Do you feel healthy and energetic, though not necessarily hyperactive?
If you feel healthy, and fairly energetic, that is good. That is how you should feel. Keep it up. Otherwise, see the explanation below the next question.
Question 2: Do you frequently take pain medication?
If you frequently take pain relief for headaches or other body aches, you may be stressed out. Probably it's a good idea to work on taking better care of yourself, or think about how to be really nice to yourself.
Question 3: Most of the time, do you feel relaxed about things?
If you mostly feel relaxed, you're in good shape. If you're uptight, stressed out, you need to take action. Allow Mixonian to remind you that if you don't take really good care of yourself, it's unlikely that someone else will. Furthermore, the way you treat yourself tells others how to treat you.
Question 4: Most of the time, do you feel optimistic?
Feeling optimistic, most of the time, is the normal and the ideal state. If you are worried about future events or conditions, you have taken responsibility for things that are beyond your control and maybe you should focus more on things more clearly within your circle of influence.
Question 5: Do you feel comfortable with what you do for others, compared to what they do for you?
Not that you're keeping score, this question revolves around feeling appreciated. Mixonian has heard many sad tales of people doing for others, who in turn, do not show appreciation. If your appreciation factor is wobbly, the first thing you need to do is to appreciate yourself. Then take a fresh look at the things you do for others. If these tasks and favors are optional, only do them if you absolutely want to, with no expectation for a payback of gratitude. If you must do the thing, like changing baby's diapers, just do it as one of those things that has to be done. Doing it is the pay-off, consider the consequences of not changing the diapers!
Mixonian wishes all a restful Labor Day Monday.
Monday, August 4, 2008
How to Say "No" to a Client
Dear Mixonian,
I'm at my wit's end. My clients tell me to jump, and I ask them how high, and so they keep demanding more and more from me. My boss tells me it's not his problem, but mine.
Here's an example. One client wants me to visit their office (again) across the country. I was just there a couple of weeks ago and now they want me to return this week. What I can tell them? It's my job to keep the clients happy.
Desperate,
Ms. On The Ball
Dear Ms. On The Ball,
Mixonian is pleased with your desire to give your client such personal service. That is truly commendable and it's no wonder they want more from you.
You may recall that your mother once told you in certain situations the best strategy is to play hard to get. The same is true for customer relations. You take care of them, but you take care of yourself as well.
Putting off your visit by a week probably won't cause the company to go bankrupt.
Each morning and evening, right after brushing your teeth, do this exercise. With careful enunciation, say "no." Repeat at least five times.
Then, when Ms. Demanding Client demands your presence, you can say, "No, I can't be there tomorrow, but I could be there in 10 days." The client will respect you even more in the morning.
Sincerely,
Mixonian
I'm at my wit's end. My clients tell me to jump, and I ask them how high, and so they keep demanding more and more from me. My boss tells me it's not his problem, but mine.
Here's an example. One client wants me to visit their office (again) across the country. I was just there a couple of weeks ago and now they want me to return this week. What I can tell them? It's my job to keep the clients happy.
Desperate,
Ms. On The Ball
Dear Ms. On The Ball,
Mixonian is pleased with your desire to give your client such personal service. That is truly commendable and it's no wonder they want more from you.
You may recall that your mother once told you in certain situations the best strategy is to play hard to get. The same is true for customer relations. You take care of them, but you take care of yourself as well.
Putting off your visit by a week probably won't cause the company to go bankrupt.
Each morning and evening, right after brushing your teeth, do this exercise. With careful enunciation, say "no." Repeat at least five times.
Then, when Ms. Demanding Client demands your presence, you can say, "No, I can't be there tomorrow, but I could be there in 10 days." The client will respect you even more in the morning.
Sincerely,
Mixonian
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Welcome to Bliss!
Mixonian is excited to announce a new link. Just imagine, you can now access a Bliss spa experience in one simple click. Check it out below the photo on the right.
Self-care is a major Mixonian theme. Now you can easily shop for pampering skin care products, fitness footwear, shapeware, foundations, clothes, hair products, cosmetics, and a lot of other goodies.
They even offer Smashbox and Laura Mercier cosmetics! Is that not just too cool?
Bliss spas are found in most major cities. You can reserve treatments to soothe and beautify yourself through their website. And you can sign up for their free newsletter.
Now you have one more wonderful option for self care. Bliss is within your reach. Enjoy!
Self-care is a major Mixonian theme. Now you can easily shop for pampering skin care products, fitness footwear, shapeware, foundations, clothes, hair products, cosmetics, and a lot of other goodies.
They even offer Smashbox and Laura Mercier cosmetics! Is that not just too cool?
Bliss spas are found in most major cities. You can reserve treatments to soothe and beautify yourself through their website. And you can sign up for their free newsletter.
Now you have one more wonderful option for self care. Bliss is within your reach. Enjoy!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
21 Ways to Be Nice to Yourself
Today is the third day of the second half of the year. Mixonian hopes that things are going well for you and that you are being very very nice to yourself.
Being nice to yourself is essentially forgiving yourself for not being perfect while making it easier for you to succeed in your endeavors. Having high expectations for yourself and others is a great motivator...up to a point. If you think about it, life runs along a grid of paradoxes: be disciplined, but have fun; be spiritual, not a religious fanatic; make money, don't be consumed by money.
Aristotle's well-known suggestion was moderation in all things. We're still not sure if that means moderated moderation.
Being very nice to yourself sets a wonderful example for how others should treat you, too.
21 Easy Ways to Be Especially Nice to Yourself:
1. Get enough sleep. If possible, take a nap.
2. If the day is hectic, find a space to do nothing for 15 minutes. This will actually make you more productive and focused.
3. Go to the library and check some books that you would never buy, but are curious about.
4. Write a letter...on stationery.
5. Go over your list of things to do and eliminate/postpone a fourth of them. Remember Pareto's Law, the 80/20 rule. (If you don't remember, it's that 20% of input yields 80% of the output.)
6. Write out what an ideal day for you would be. Ideally, this would be in your journal.
7. Hire someone to help you with the house, even if it's just once in a while.
8. Organize a drawer, or a chest of drawers.
9. Clean out the refrigerator.
10. Think in terms of baby steps for any area in which you feel really frustrated: exercise, diet, saving money.
11. In Suzuki music training program, parents are taught that their main job is to do whatever it takes for their child to experience success: lower the bar, encourage, reward good behavior. Consider making your own success inevitable.
12. Sign up for a cooking class or a wine tasting. If you're in the Atlanta area, click on the link to the left for www.tasteandsavor.com and Nancy can help you with this. Actually planning a small cooking class or wine tasting is a great way to entertain close friends.
13. Try a new healthy food. My personal suggestion is organic dates, but anything healthy works. I'm planning to try collards soon.
14. Remember that no one oppresses you without your permission. If you feel overwhelmed, that's your problem to solve.
15. Forgive others. Let it go. There is no room for resentment in life. Too risky.
16. Take the magazines laying around, go through them and cut out pictures that inspire, save articles that interest you (file them!) and throw the rest away.
17. You now have permission to give away the crocheted toilet paper cover your Aunt Edna made for you. Remember William Morris' advice, "Keep only those things that are useful or you believe them to be beautiful."
18. Be brilliant and start looking for Christmas gifts now.
19. Work on your gratitude list. Think of 5 different things for which you are so grateful. What you appreciate, appreciates.
20. Think of one word or short phrase to guide you for the rest of this year: organize, lighten up, experiment, focus, baby steps.
21. Plan a vacation.
Speaking of vacation, Mixonian will be taking her own advice and taking a vacation. Back July 14.
Lorraine Lewis of Pennsylvania won the alpaca scarf. Look out for a new drawing in August.
Being nice to yourself is essentially forgiving yourself for not being perfect while making it easier for you to succeed in your endeavors. Having high expectations for yourself and others is a great motivator...up to a point. If you think about it, life runs along a grid of paradoxes: be disciplined, but have fun; be spiritual, not a religious fanatic; make money, don't be consumed by money.
Aristotle's well-known suggestion was moderation in all things. We're still not sure if that means moderated moderation.
Being very nice to yourself sets a wonderful example for how others should treat you, too.
21 Easy Ways to Be Especially Nice to Yourself:
1. Get enough sleep. If possible, take a nap.
2. If the day is hectic, find a space to do nothing for 15 minutes. This will actually make you more productive and focused.
3. Go to the library and check some books that you would never buy, but are curious about.
4. Write a letter...on stationery.
5. Go over your list of things to do and eliminate/postpone a fourth of them. Remember Pareto's Law, the 80/20 rule. (If you don't remember, it's that 20% of input yields 80% of the output.)
6. Write out what an ideal day for you would be. Ideally, this would be in your journal.
7. Hire someone to help you with the house, even if it's just once in a while.
8. Organize a drawer, or a chest of drawers.
9. Clean out the refrigerator.
10. Think in terms of baby steps for any area in which you feel really frustrated: exercise, diet, saving money.
11. In Suzuki music training program, parents are taught that their main job is to do whatever it takes for their child to experience success: lower the bar, encourage, reward good behavior. Consider making your own success inevitable.
12. Sign up for a cooking class or a wine tasting. If you're in the Atlanta area, click on the link to the left for www.tasteandsavor.com and Nancy can help you with this. Actually planning a small cooking class or wine tasting is a great way to entertain close friends.
13. Try a new healthy food. My personal suggestion is organic dates, but anything healthy works. I'm planning to try collards soon.
14. Remember that no one oppresses you without your permission. If you feel overwhelmed, that's your problem to solve.
15. Forgive others. Let it go. There is no room for resentment in life. Too risky.
16. Take the magazines laying around, go through them and cut out pictures that inspire, save articles that interest you (file them!) and throw the rest away.
17. You now have permission to give away the crocheted toilet paper cover your Aunt Edna made for you. Remember William Morris' advice, "Keep only those things that are useful or you believe them to be beautiful."
18. Be brilliant and start looking for Christmas gifts now.
19. Work on your gratitude list. Think of 5 different things for which you are so grateful. What you appreciate, appreciates.
20. Think of one word or short phrase to guide you for the rest of this year: organize, lighten up, experiment, focus, baby steps.
21. Plan a vacation.
Speaking of vacation, Mixonian will be taking her own advice and taking a vacation. Back July 14.
Lorraine Lewis of Pennsylvania won the alpaca scarf. Look out for a new drawing in August.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Self Care is Self Love
Self care is a big topic for Mixonian because it took me a long time to grasp that love is not found out there, but in here. Even Jesus was for self care; he literally commanded people, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." I always assumed he meant that we should try to be nice to all the tacky and annoying people who cross our paths.
Self love is not selfish.
We all know that being selfish is not attractive, and we often go to extremes to avoid that condition. As a parent of young children, I remember being determined to encourage my son and daughters not to be selfish. We all know selfish people; we do not care for them. But if you think about it, talking about love is probably easier and more effective than teaching, "Don't be selfish -- or else!"
The beatings will continue until you learn to love. :)
It's not too hard to figure out whether you love yourself or not. Loving people love themselves and others; they feel loved. If you appreciate yourself, you will feel appreciated. If you value yourself, you will feel valued. When I look for love in all the wrong places, I feel unloved, unappreciated(!!!!). That is a high price to pay for this condition: resentment, bad relationships, unhealthy habits.
It begins with me.....or you.
I am responsible for how loved I feel. The same goes for you, too. In Being in Balance: 9 Principles for Creating Habits to Match Your Desires, Wayne Dyer has this to say, "If you're not receivng the love you desire, it seems like a pretty good idea to explore what's creating this state. Obviously, most of us want to placed the blame for lovelessness on something external to ourselves" (147).
Where to start.
If you think about it, life is so full of paradoxes, and love is a biggie. People who think only about their immediate comfort, are not happy. People who only about the comfort of others, are unhappy. Probably you've heard about the psychological construct of "projection", which is so explicit in the Spanish saying that I'll loosely translate as, "Every thief judges others according to his condition (i.e. of being a thief). What you feel about others and toward others reflects your feelings about yourself.
Think about what you really appreciate about yourself. Write down compliments you have received. Make a list of 100 achievements, even the ones often overlooked, like learning to bake a cake, or write a letter.
You rock. If you haven't seen it, check out the free drawing posted yesterday.
Self love is not selfish.
We all know that being selfish is not attractive, and we often go to extremes to avoid that condition. As a parent of young children, I remember being determined to encourage my son and daughters not to be selfish. We all know selfish people; we do not care for them. But if you think about it, talking about love is probably easier and more effective than teaching, "Don't be selfish -- or else!"
The beatings will continue until you learn to love. :)
It's not too hard to figure out whether you love yourself or not. Loving people love themselves and others; they feel loved. If you appreciate yourself, you will feel appreciated. If you value yourself, you will feel valued. When I look for love in all the wrong places, I feel unloved, unappreciated(!!!!). That is a high price to pay for this condition: resentment, bad relationships, unhealthy habits.
It begins with me.....or you.
I am responsible for how loved I feel. The same goes for you, too. In Being in Balance: 9 Principles for Creating Habits to Match Your Desires, Wayne Dyer has this to say, "If you're not receivng the love you desire, it seems like a pretty good idea to explore what's creating this state. Obviously, most of us want to placed the blame for lovelessness on something external to ourselves" (147).
Where to start.
If you think about it, life is so full of paradoxes, and love is a biggie. People who think only about their immediate comfort, are not happy. People who only about the comfort of others, are unhappy. Probably you've heard about the psychological construct of "projection", which is so explicit in the Spanish saying that I'll loosely translate as, "Every thief judges others according to his condition (i.e. of being a thief). What you feel about others and toward others reflects your feelings about yourself.
Think about what you really appreciate about yourself. Write down compliments you have received. Make a list of 100 achievements, even the ones often overlooked, like learning to bake a cake, or write a letter.
You rock. If you haven't seen it, check out the free drawing posted yesterday.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Free Drawing for Lovely Alpaca Scarf
Carodel Alpacas is offering Mixonian readers the opportunity to win a free exquisitely soft alpaca-fiber scarf. It's about care of self. Small, but potent luxuries.
It's easy to enter, just two quick steps:
1. Click on the photo, or click here: http://www.carodel-alpacas.com/ . Either way, you visit Carodel's alpaca site.
2. After you see the Carodel alpaca site, send a blank email with "alpaca" in the subject line to mixonian@gmail.com.
That's all!
On June 30. Mixonian will randomly select the winner and send this lucky person an email asking for his/her mailing address. Carodel will then mail you the beautiful alpaca scarf. Couldn't be simpler.
It's easy to enter, just two quick steps:
1. Click on the photo, or click here: http://www.carodel-alpacas.com/ . Either way, you visit Carodel's alpaca site.
2. After you see the Carodel alpaca site, send a blank email with "alpaca" in the subject line to mixonian@gmail.com.
That's all!
On June 30. Mixonian will randomly select the winner and send this lucky person an email asking for his/her mailing address. Carodel will then mail you the beautiful alpaca scarf. Couldn't be simpler.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Becoming a High-Maintenance Chick, oops, Woman
After some serious reflection upon the need for extreme self care, I have decided to become a high-maintenance gal. I used to think they were superficial. I still do, only now I believe being superficial is a good thing. : )
Actually, declaring to the world that you require maintenance sends out an important message about how you value yourself. In God's eyes we may be all equals, but anyone out of diapers knows that most people use visual clues to decide how to treat a person. Even more important, your attitude tells people how to treat you!
I'm excited about this new "high-maintenance" paradigm for me. On my first date with Mr. Wonderful, I imagine the following dialogue:
Laura: Well, I want you to know I am a high-maintenance woman.
Mr. Wonderful: Oh, really....hmmmmm.
Laura: Well, what do you think of that?
Mr. Wonderful: Oh, I think it's fine. It's just that you don't look like a high-maintenance woman, no offense, you seem to be very down-to-earth.
Well, I haven't figured out my response to that one. I'm not interested in acrylic nails, not willing to make weekly hair-drying appointments, or into wearing that much make-up. I'd rather live under a bridge than look tacky! I'm working out my own high-mainenance details.
For too many years, I've been getting $10 worth out of every $1 spent on clothing. And that's not a bad thing. I've shopped at thrift shop sales (often the junior league ones), gotten great hand-me-downs from my sister and a few friends, and recycled so much clothing that I now wear my own vintage. None of that is bad in itself. One reason I put out so much energy in stretching my clothing dollar is that frankly, most of the time, I'd rather buy a book than a new shirt.
However, life is short and I like the feeling you get when you have something expensive on. It's not that everything on your back has to come from Neiman Marcus. But if your wallet is tres chic, or even your costume earrings are from some famous designer, your attitude reflects positive self worth.
So, here are some high-maintenance options I'm considering:
- getting my legs waxed.
- getting a massage.
- buying expensive vitamins (hopefully I'll take them as well!)
- buying an upscale magazine to get more ideas.
- buying aroma-therapy candles, even though the days are long now.
It is now Mixonian policy to support its high-maintenance readers. Look out for an upcoming drawing for something soft and cuddly, (and it's not my new nephew.) Details on the way.
Actually, declaring to the world that you require maintenance sends out an important message about how you value yourself. In God's eyes we may be all equals, but anyone out of diapers knows that most people use visual clues to decide how to treat a person. Even more important, your attitude tells people how to treat you!
I'm excited about this new "high-maintenance" paradigm for me. On my first date with Mr. Wonderful, I imagine the following dialogue:
Laura: Well, I want you to know I am a high-maintenance woman.
Mr. Wonderful: Oh, really....hmmmmm.
Laura: Well, what do you think of that?
Mr. Wonderful: Oh, I think it's fine. It's just that you don't look like a high-maintenance woman, no offense, you seem to be very down-to-earth.
Well, I haven't figured out my response to that one. I'm not interested in acrylic nails, not willing to make weekly hair-drying appointments, or into wearing that much make-up. I'd rather live under a bridge than look tacky! I'm working out my own high-mainenance details.
For too many years, I've been getting $10 worth out of every $1 spent on clothing. And that's not a bad thing. I've shopped at thrift shop sales (often the junior league ones), gotten great hand-me-downs from my sister and a few friends, and recycled so much clothing that I now wear my own vintage. None of that is bad in itself. One reason I put out so much energy in stretching my clothing dollar is that frankly, most of the time, I'd rather buy a book than a new shirt.
However, life is short and I like the feeling you get when you have something expensive on. It's not that everything on your back has to come from Neiman Marcus. But if your wallet is tres chic, or even your costume earrings are from some famous designer, your attitude reflects positive self worth.
So, here are some high-maintenance options I'm considering:
- getting my legs waxed.
- getting a massage.
- buying expensive vitamins (hopefully I'll take them as well!)
- buying an upscale magazine to get more ideas.
- buying aroma-therapy candles, even though the days are long now.
It is now Mixonian policy to support its high-maintenance readers. Look out for an upcoming drawing for something soft and cuddly, (and it's not my new nephew.) Details on the way.
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