Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Making Authentic Connections


Have you networked this week? Does the word, "network" give you the creeps? Does the image of desperately needy people exchanging business cards come to mind? Do you remember ever talking to someone who's looking over your shoulder for someone "better" to talk to? Do you remember ever getting caught into a conversation that was 100% about the other person, where you served as some sort of ear for the other, and that was the extent of the conversation?

Well, that is not what the "connecting" part of Mixonian is about.

If you're like most readers, you want to connect with people, help them in their ventures, and maybe get a hand in your own. But, in the end, you want to be doing business with friends.

If you watched the Ted Brown presentation in Saturday's post, you may recall Brown mentioning that Ideo's co-founder wanted employees who were his best friends as well.

Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone, has some germane thoughts on this subject. In following Mixonian's advice for week-end activities, I found this helpful book at the local library.

To begin with, the first chapter starts with this excellent quote:

Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone. -- Margaret Wheatley

I've also heard it said that everything that comes to you, comes through someone.

Ferrazzi defines connecting like this: sharing my knowledge and resources, time and energy, friends and associates, and empathy and compassion in a continual effort to provide value to others, while coincidentally increasing my own. Like business itself, being a connector is not about managing transactions, but about managing relationships (8).

How does one set about to connect better?

The usual way, it's one person at a time, being generous, seeking to help and not being afraid to ask for help. Go and invite someone to lunch today.