Celebrating Chapter Five

About an hour ago I turned in the draft of chapter five - the last chapter of my dissertation. I've been working on this project since November, 2007, and really working on this topic (Hugo Chavez and persuasion) since fall of 2005.

So, you would think I'd be breaking out the champagne and dancing a jig. But actually, getting this step behind me feels great, but also anticlimatic. More like taking a nap than having a party.

But...celebrate we shall. After violin class, I'm taking the girls to Starbucks to celebrate. Even if you don't really feel inspired to celebrate, it's important to do so and here are some reasons why:

1. Celebrating achievements, of varying sizes, helps offset the memories of non-achievements. It's a weird thing but say an instructor teaches a class of 30 students, 29 think he rocks and one guy sleeps during the class, who does the instructor remember? What are the memories that flood our brains when we're about to do something scary? Usually it's the times that things didn't turn out the way we wanted. That means you need to celebrate more often the things you do well.

2. Celebrating these events is only fair to your friends and family members who have suffered with you, listening to your endless whining, complaining, and carping, even when you were committed not to whine, complain, or carp.

3. Not celebrating at these times makes you....in a word....insufferable.

Now that I've made such a convincing case for celebrating, I have to tell you now what happened at Starbucks. It was completely full...at three in the afternoon, not one single seat available. They ran out of my favorite drink, chai tea, just as we were getting the chance to order. No worries. I got a free coffee, we came home and Christina got to work making chocolate chip cookies.

Here's to five chapters written of Ascent to Power through Language: Rhetoric of Hugo Chavez!

Birthday Thoughts

Remember when you were 5 years old and about to turn 6, so old that your age could no longer be represented with only one hand? Then, in the blink of an eye, you get so old that you're not really sure how old you're turning on the next birthday.

I remember when my grandmother couldn't remember her age at times. Was she 58, or about to turn 58? At the time, I couldn't imagine how that was possible to forget how old you were. Now, I get it. The years go by so quickly!

We are supposed to feel complimented when people underestimate our ages these days. That's almost the ultimate positive feedback -- that you don't look that old, or like you have that many children!

Well, if you think about it, you probably don't want to go back and re-live those old experiences, that is unless you could do so with the wisdom you've acquired in the process. So what's more valuable, looking youthful, or being wiser?

Finally, while being wiser than you used to be is a good thing, birthdays are also reminders of our immortality. It's a great opportunity to express gratitude for the abundance of blessings that surround us: health, loving family, understanding friends, cooler weather, public libraries, indoor plumbing, coffee makers, salads in bags, swimming pools and Starbucks coffee ice cream with chocolate!

Elements of Superb Entertaining

In other words, a birthday party that rocks. I just got back from a social event that represents the best in Southern hospitality -- one of those experiences that makes you feel glad to be a part of the great human family, and forget the dysfunctionality of your own family (it can only bother you if you allow that!)

Even though we can all appreciate Wayne Dyer's joke that friends are God's apology for your family, getting together with relatives can be enriching in unexpected ways. Getting together to celebrate a biggish event (80 years on the planet, for example) gives family members a positive project to collaborate on, and a purpose that gets everyone focused above the fray. The annoyances of others are simply your teachers in disguise so you can always look for the learning experience.

Entertaining often gets short-listed on our priorities because of other stuff that pretends to be more important. I hope this post encourages you to celebrate the next birthday in your household, in a bigger way. Hans Nouwen wrote that to celebrate a birthday is to celebrate life. It's a way to express gratitude that a person simply is there.

Less Work, More Fun

There are three basic strategies to entertaining without it being such a burden to the host/ess.

1. Involve guests and co-hosts. The event from which I just returned was orchestrated by three families living in three different cities. With or without co-hosts, guests always feel more involved when entrusted with an assignment.

2. Outsource. Whether it's a catering service, a bakery, or Sam's Club, getting professional help can save you time and money. Find someone to help get the house ready, and to clean it up afterwards. A totally overwhelmed host can be scary.

3. Simplify. Miami-based Jennifer Rubell has plenty of suggestions about how to work on this. Two suggestions of hers include giving a one-dish dinner or breaking up good quality chocolate bars as dessert.

Get inspired. Give a party. Connect with others. Invite Mixonian!