Sunday, June 1, 2008

The 7 Habits of Very Boring People

Taking a trip on the lighter side of life, Mixonian offers the following tips for those who are interested:

1. Realize that in each situation, you are the victim. Look for dramatic effect to enhance how poor and pitiful you are. No matter what happens, it's someone else's fault. They really are out to get you, so be careful.

2. When anyone speaks to you, make sure you don't really listen. They might get the impression that what they're saying is important to you. If what someone has to say is of any value, it doesn't matter if he has to repeat it two or three times before you catch on.

3. Be careful not to give more than what you're paid for. Never a lender be, you probably won't be repaid. Keep close accounts of how much you give, and how much you receive.

4. Take yourself very seriously. If you're really good at this, you can find endless opportunities to be offended by others. That will reinforce guideline #1.

5. Be a one-note. You probably know everything you need to by now, so don't try to put new ideas in your brain, stuff might start to fall out.

6. Make sure you try to please everyone at home and at work. If this principle is the guide for your life, you will enjoy limitless occasions to practice guideline #1.

7. Never accept people as they are. After all, no one is perfect and everyone can use some improvement. You can make it your mission to show others exactly how they need to change in order to meet your standards.

There may be other guidelines for the boring, but these should be enough to get you started. Feel free to distribute these to others who need help in this area.